Kimmie's Party

We just got back from Aunt Kimmie's 50th birthday party. It was a good day with lots of eating and visiting, and a bit of swimming. Matt, surprisingly, spent most of his time in the pool. (He must've been really hot...)

I always enjoy getting together with my mom's family. Some of my most favorite childhood memories are of hanging out with these aunts/uncles/cousins. But I must say, my favorite part of the night is always later on, after most people have had a couple (or more) beers. These are the times when everyone really lets loose and becomes extremely open and honest and laid back. These are the times I remember most, the times I feel I get to know who people are deep down. Don't get me wrong, I love the conversations I have with my family throughout the day, but I just really get into the late night gatherings, and I wish more of my cousins could be there, too.

I really feel like I've missed out a lot on getting to know my older cousins. They're all boys, and there is a significant enough age gap that we never really bonded. Plus, there are so few times that we are actually together, and these times are just not enough for us to truly get to know each other. It doesn't help that I will most likely always be the "little cousin" in their eyes. (I wonder how I act towards my own "little cousins"?)

I want so badly for my family to "get me", and I think many of them do. Weekends like this give me a chance to show my family that there's more to who I am than what they remember about me as a little kid.

My mom said tonight that she was proud of how I've become much better at expressing myself. For most of my life, I've had trouble keeping a cool head when I feel attacked. I know that God has been working in me to correct this problem, and tonight I saw some practical results of His work. My family doesn't mean to attack, but they just can never possibly see things as I see them, and that makes it difficult for them to understand where I'm coming from.

Sometimes when I get together with family, Mom or Dad's side, I have a little difficulty with one thing in particular. People who love me and want the best for me strongly express their opinions right as I'm trying to share something that means a lot to me, and that I've already put a good deal of thought into. I know they just want to help, but it's not what I need. At those moments, I need to be heard and understood. Being the youngest during these conversations typically does not help my credibility with regards to having wisdom, despite the fact that true wisdom is a gift from God and not a result of having more life experiences. This is not to say that I'm always right on, but I do have something to contribute for those willing to let me.

I can only hope that in time, others will be able to look at my life and know that the Lord guides my steps, and that His is the best wisdom out there. Maybe one day, someone will be able to learn something from me , not through my words, but through my life lived for Christ. To God be the glory!